Stewie Meets Chucky
by Jemascola
Summary: Stewie, the little baby from Family Guy, meets his perfect match, Chucky the evil Good Guys doll!
1. What the Deuce?

Stewie Meets Chucky

A/N: I've always thought that Stewie seemed similar to Chucky, so I thought that it would be neat to make a story where the two of them meet.

Chapter 1: What the Deuce?

(Family Guy Theme Song Begins)

_It seems today_

_That all you see_

_Is violence in movies_

_And sex on TV_

_But where are those good old-fashioned values?_

_On which we used to rely?_

_Lucky there's a family guy_

_Lucky there's a man who_

_Positively can do_

_All the things that make us…_

_Laugh and cry_

_He's a Family Guy…_

(Setting: Quahog, Rhode Island; 8:00 pm; Present Day)

Peter Griffin was in the living room watching TV. Lois and Meg were in the kitchen washing dishes. Chris was up in his room running from the evil monkey in his closet. Little baby Stewie was sound asleep in his crib. Or so the Griffins thought…

"Yes, this is it!" he exclaimed. Stewie had an oddly deep voice for a one-year old. "I've perfected the perfect way to kill Lois!" Stewie was speaking to nobody but himself. "First, I'll ask her for a cookie. Then, while she reaches for the jar on the fridge, I pierce through her stomach with a bowie knife! She'll flop dead on the floor, and my first step toward world domination will be complete!"

"Stewie, go to sleep," Lois called. Apparently, she heard him speaking to himself.

Stewie sighed in frustration. "Yes, mother," he reluctantly obeyed. He went to the light switch and tried to turn the lights out. However, he was too short to reach the switch. "Blast," he muttered.

Just then, Brian, the family's white dog entered the room. Brian was rather unusual because he could stand on his hind legs, and he also had an eerie ability to comprehend and speak perfect English. He was just like a human member of the family. "Hey, baby. What's shaking?" he said in his deep voice.

"Get out you mangy dog!" shouted Stewie. "I'm working on yet another plan to eradicate that foul woman from this earth!"

"You mean Lois?" Brian said.

"Who else?" Stewie said.

Brian sighed. "Look, Stewie, you've been trying to kill Lois since birth. Every plan you've tried has ended in disaster. Face it, you need some assistance."

"For once, dog, you may be right. But there are so many evil people on the earth. Who should I choose? Ooh, I know! Saddam Hussein!"

"Saddam Hussein was thrown in jail 2 years ago, remember?" Brian said.

(Flashback: December 2003; Iraq. President Bush is shown pulling Saddam out of the hole Saddam was hiding in. Bush punches Saddam and says, "Where's your weapons of mass destruction, you terrorist?" Saddam says, "Huh?" Flashback ends.)

"That's true," Stewie said. "Wait! Osama Bin Laden!"

Brian said, "Nobody knows where Bin Laden is right now. He could be in Hell now for all we know."

(Cuts to scene in Hell. Bin Laden is there with Satan. Satan says, "Okay, buddy, why were you sent here?" Bin Laden says, "I was a terrorist." There is a brief silence, but then Bin Laden pushes Satan into the Lake of Fire. "Curse you!" shouts Satan. Scene cuts back to Stewie's room.)

"I can see this is going to be more difficult than I imagined," sighed Stewie.

Brian thought for a moment. "Wait just a minute. Why not pair up with someone your own age and size? That would be perfect!"

"Yes," Stewie said, "but who fits those qualifications?"


	2. Family Movie Night

Chapter 2: Family Movie Night

About an hour later, Chris came downstairs looking tired. "Dad," he panted, "can I borrow your pistol?"

"What for… wait a minute! I know what you're up to! You want to shoot me in my sleep! Nice try, Chris!" Peter said, thinking he had Chris all figured out.

"No, Dad, I need to shoot the evil monkey up in my closet! He's getting really weird now…"

"Chris, you've told us about your 'evil monkey' since you were five! You're sixteen now. GROW UP!" Peter yelled.

"But Dad, I have a picture," Chris said, showing Peter a Polaroid picture he had snapped of the evil monkey.

Peter looked at the picture. "Very nice drawing, Chris. You're artistic skills are really improving," he said, tossing the photograph on the floor.

"Aw, my dad's too stupid to realize that's not a drawing," sighed Chris as he trudged up to his room.

"Hey, where are you going?" Peter asked.

"To my room to fight the evil monkey myself."

"Uh-huh… Chris, don't you remember tonight is Family Movie Night?"

"Say that again, Dad," Chris said.

"Tonight is FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT!" Peter shouted excitedly, throwing his hands in the air. In the background, fireworks shot up from out of nowhere. Chris cheered.

"Did I hear what I thought I heard?" Lois said, peeking in from the kitchen. "Is it really Family Movie Night?"

"You're damn right, Lois," Peter said. "Get the kids and someone grab a movie!"

(Five minutes later)

The entire family was seated in front of the television ready to watch a movie. Peter came into the family room with a videotape. The movie was called _Barney the Dinosaur Gets Shot_.

"Okay, Lois, kids… oh, and Brian, we're watching a tape called _Barney the Dinosaur Gets Shot_," Peter said, holding up the tape. On the video case, there was a picture of several FBI agents with pistols shooting down Barney.

"Isn't that a little inappropriate for Stewie?" Lois asked.

"Nonsense," Peter said. "He talks about that 'taking over the world' crap anyway. What does it matter?"

"Peter, don't you think we should get a DVD? I mean, we've had that same VCR for as long as I can remember, and VCRs jam tapes. DVDs are way better," Chris said.

"Nah. Why waste money on one of those pieces of crap when you have a perfectly good mechanical way of viewing videos?" Peter said, putting in the tape. Brian looked at Stewie and twirled his finger near his head, indicating that he believed Peter was stupid.

Peter turned off the lights and sat down. The video started off interesting:

(Barney): I'm Barney the Dinosaur. I love you. I love you all! That's because I'm bisexual! Come here little girl and let me hug you. Come here little boy and let me hug you.

(FBI Agent): Hold it there, dinosaur! Your days of gay TV and harassing innocent children are over!

(Barney): I think somebody needs a hug!

(FBI Agent): Yeah, well I think somebody needs to get shot!

(There are loud gunshots and a lot of yelling.)

Suddenly, the image on the TV bounced up and down and squiggled. Weird noises came from the speakers and then lots of tape snaked out of the VCR. Then, the VCR exploded, and tiny metal mechanisms rained in the living room. The remains of the VCR were smoking. Everyone shot an angry look at Peter. He laughed nervously. "Maybe we should get a DVD after all," he said.

"It's okay, Dad. I've already got a DVD player in my room. I'll go get it," Chris said.

"Good, Chris. Where did you buy it?" Peter said.

"Uh… somewhere," Chris said, looking a little nervous.

(Flashback: Two weeks ago; electronics store. Chris sneaks into the store and goes to the DVD section. He gazes at a pretty model, but is shocked it its price: $1,000. While no one is looking, he unplugs the set and hides it under his shirt. He slowly passes through the bar-code scanners. He jumps in shock when the sirens blare. Everyone turns and looks at Chris. Chris yells and leaves the store in a hurry with the DVD player still under his shirt. Flashback ends.)

Chris got the DVD player from his room and helped Peter set it up. When the DVD player was set up, Peter said, "This afternoon, Joe just happened to lend me a DVD he said is really great." He held up the DVD that said _Child's Play_.

"Child's Play? I've heard of that movie. I don't think we should let Stewie watch. It's rated R," Lois said.

Peter paid no attention to Lois and began the DVD. During the scary parts of the movie, everyone except Stewie and Brian screamed and freaked out. When the movie was over, everyone shared their thoughts about the movie.

"I am never going to watch this movie _ever_ again!" Meg said.

"Me either! It makes me that much more nervous about my monkey!" Chris said.

"Hey! Don't start this monkey business again!" Peter warned Chris. Everyone went upstairs to bed. Stewie and Brian met in Stewie's room.

"Brian, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Stewie said with a malicious grin.

"That Michael Jackson is gay?" Brian wondered.

"No, no, no!" yelled Stewie. "About the movie! That little red-haired fellow could be my accomplice. Together, we could cause great chaos!" Stewie shouted.

"Uh, Stewie, you do realize that was just a movie, right. I mean (chuckles) there's not really a doll like there was in the movie," Brian said, trying to reason with Stewie.

"Nonsense," Stewie said. "He must be out there somewhere. And wherever he is, I'm going to go there and meet him. Good night," Stewie said, crawling into his crib.


	3. eBay Comes to the Rescue

A/N: I don't own _Barney the Dinosaur_ or _Child's Play_ or _eBay_ or _PayPal_. Oh, and thanks for the great reviews! It's great to hear from readers!

Chapter 3: e-Bay Comes to the Rescue

It was a typical Sunday afternoon in the Griffin house. The Griffins just got back from church, and now they were relaxing at home. Peter was outside talking to Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire about how great _Child's Play_ was. Lois was vacuuming the upstairs of the house. Chris was, yet again, trying to kill the monkey. Meg was in her room talking on the phone to her nerdy boyfriend.

Stewie and Brian were in the bathroom, thinking about Chucky. "Dammit, dog, there must be some way to track that young fellow!" yelled Stewie.

"Stewie, how many times do I have to tell you?" shouted Brian. "Chucky is not real! He is just part of a movie!"

"You conflabbid dog! Nobody can believe a word you say! Especially after that incident in the hallway!" Stewie yelled.

(Flashback: Five years ago; Upstairs hallway. Brian is at the bathroom door, waiting for Peter to come out. He knocks at the door loudly. "Damn it, Peter, hurry it up! Some of us are in a big hurry!" Brian yells. Peter, on the toilet doing nothing but reading the newspaper says, "Yeah, well I'm busy, too. Give me just a second or two…" Brian says, "Peter! I don't have time for you to sit on the toilet and do nothing but read the paper! Let me in! Let me in! Let me… uh oh!" Brian says, looking down at the floor. "Whoa mama! Uh… wasn't me!" he yelled, running off. Then, a few hours later, Lois comes upstairs and passes the bathroom. She sniffs a horrid odor in the air. "Oh gosh! What is that awful smell?" she said. She looked down by the bathroom door and saw several droppings. "BRIAN!" she screamed. Brian sheepishly walks over to Lois. "WHAT IS THIS?" she yelled. Brian looks at the droppings carefully. He grins sheepishly and says, "It wasn't me." Lois does not believe him and throws him out of the house… literally! Flashback ends.)

"Oh, come on, that was just ONE time!" yelled Brian. "Anyway, you're not exactly perfect either! Remember that time when you had your first hamburger?"

(Flashback: Six months ago; Kitchen. The family has finished eating hamburgers. Lois had given Stewie a small hamburger to eat. "How was your very first hamburger, sweetie?" Lois asked. "It was exquisite, mother dear," Stewie said. "In fact, I…" he started. However, he then threw up all over Lois's new $500 shirt. "Stewie! You ruined my $500 shirt! Bad boy! Go to your room for a spanking!" Lois yelled. Peter then walks behind her, whacking a large 10-foot paddle with holes on his hand. Flashback ends.)

Stewie and Brian keep arguing, but as they are, the attention moves to outside, where Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire are still talking about _Child's Play_. "You mean you've never seen OR heard of _Child's Play_?" Peter said, shocked, talking to Cleveland. "Just where have you been these past 17 years?"

(Cuts to scene in Antarctica. Cleveland is wearing thin clothes and shivering rapidly. Icicles are hanging from his nostrils. Just then, a penguin waddles up to him and begins to peck him in the groin. Cleveland says, "Stop you twisted pervert!" But then, a whole flock of penguins join the other penguin in the activity. "Oooh!" Cleveland said. "Stop! Stop!" He gets dizzy and faints. Scene cuts back to Quahog.)

"I don't know, Peter," Cleveland said. "It's just kind of a bad movie. I mean, it promotes violence."

"Cleve, Cleve, Cleve," Quagmire said. "You gotta loosen it up, man. I mean, it's just for fun. I mean, as long as the kids don't see it, then what the hell?"

"Oh, gosh, I feel guilty," Peter said.

"How come?" Joe asked.

"I showed that movie to my kids last night," Peter said. The gang looks shocked. "Not," Peter said. The gang looks relieved.

"Man, I'd like to get me a doll just like Chucky. You know, for collector's sake," Joe said.

"I heard there's some still up for auction on eBay," Quagmire said.

"Okay, guys, how about this?" Peter said. "Each of us gets a Chucky doll, and then we try to scare each other with it. Whoever gets the most scared will have to wear a sweater that says 'I Love Gay Men'," he continued. Everyone readily agreed, and rushed back home to their computers to buy Chucky dolls.

Peter walked inside, and met Lois, who was coming down the stairs. "Hello, Peter," Lois said.

"Hello, Lois. Guess what? We're getting a Chucky doll!" Peter said.

"What?" Lois asked, sounding surprised. "Why, Peter?"

"Because me and the guys made a deal to scare each other. Whoever gets the most scared has to wear a shirt that says 'I Love Gay Men'," Peter said.

"Oh, no, not another one of your deals," Lois sighed.

(Flashback: Three years ago; Streets of Quahog. Peter is dressed in rags, and carrying a tattered briefcase. He walks up to random men. "$5 to see pictures of naked chicks," he said. They all turn him down. Just then, he walks up to a stranger. "$5 to see pictures of naked chicks," Peter said. The stranger turns around excitedly. He pulls $5 out of his wallet and hands it to Peter. "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!" he shouts. The stranger is Quagmire. "Oh, Quag," sighed Peter. Flashback ends.)

"Lois, come on," Peter said. "Please…" he begged.

"Oh, all right," Lois said. Peter then went over to the family computer and went on the internet. He got on eBay and searched for Chucky dolls. He found a very realistic one. It looked exactly like it did in the movie. The description said:

Looking for THE REAL DEAL? Well then buy this Chucky doll. He is THE REAL THING! Many other sellers claim to sell the real thing, but this is no scam. This really is THE REAL THING! It was the doll filmed in the movies. He WILL come alive if you piss it off, and it WILL kill you. This is NOT a joke. Scare your friends or family. Perfect for Halloween. PayPal is accepted. Sorry, no checks.

Peter looked at the auction price. It was $1,000. "$1,000! Why is it that much?" He looked at the number of bidders. There were 897 bidders. "Wow, that's a lot of bidders. I'd better have a high maximum bid to make sure nobody cancels out my bid," Peter said, setting his maximum bid to $150,000. He then confirmed his bid, and then he got a message saying he was the high bidder. Peter smiled happily. "Lookout Joe, Cleveland, and Quag. Chucky's coming," he said.

"Chucky's coming?" a voice said from upstairs. Stewie poked his little head around the corner, as well as Brian.

"That's right, Stewie and Brian. Chucky's on his way in just a few short days!" Peter announced.

Stewie cheered. "Ha! In your face, dog!" he sneered. Brian glared at Stewie. "Okay, you were lucky this time. But I'll prove you wrong some other time," he said, walking away.


	4. Chucky's Here!

Chapter 4: Chucky's Here!

About a week passed until the auction on the Chucky was complete. Since Peter set an unusually high maximum bid, he naturally was the winner. However, he owed $20,000. As a result, Peter had to sell the family car to get the money to pay for the doll. He took it to a car dealership, and about 2 days later, the car was sold for exactly $20,000. Peter put the money in the bank and sent a check to the seller of the Chucky doll.

"Peter, where's our car?" Lois asked Peter one day.

"I don't know," Peter said innocently. "Maybe Chris took it out for a spin," he said.

"Hey, Dad," Peter smiled, walking down the stairs, and going into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi, Chris," Peter said casually. There was a brief silence. "Chris?" he yelled.

Chris came out of the kitchen. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Weren't you supposed to be out taking the car for a spin?" Peter said anxiously, pushing the tubby boy toward the front door.

"Well how can I? You sold the car to pay for the Chucky doll," Chris said.

Lois gasped, "PETER!" She glared at him furiously.

"And you sold _me_ out!" Peter snapped at Chris, pushing him out the door and shutting it in his face. Peter laughed nervously when Lois glared at him once more.

"Go to your room!" yelled Lois. Peter sadly trudged up the stairs to his bedroom.

(One week later, 2:00 pm)

Peter walked outside to get the mail. He opened the mailbox, and he grew excited when he saw a large brown box inside. He grabbed the box and ran inside the house with it, leaving the bills (or junk mail, as Peter called it) flying into the middle of the street. Peter set the box on the sofa and ripped it open. There, lying before him was Chucky. He had a heavy scowl on his face, and he had that sneaky little grin. "Aw, hello, little fellow. You're going to have some new playmates. Their names are Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire. Come, let's go play with them," Peter said, taking Chucky out of the box.

"Peter! Come with me! We're going to the car lot to buy back our car!" Lois yelled. "And we are returning Chucky as soon as possible!" Peter dropped Chucky on the floor and walked into the kitchen with Lois.

The living room was empty and silent. It was almost too silent. After a minute or so, Chucky got onto his feet and brushed himself off. "Looks like I've got myself some new suckers," he chuckled to himself. "I'd better explore this place first and get the scoop on the family." Chucky ran across the room, up the stairs, and in the hallway. He then looked into Meg's room through a crack in the door. "Little nerdy bitch," he muttered, watching her glasses fall off as she combed her hair. Chucky rushed to Chris's door. The door was wide open, and Chris was running around… still… (Sigh) running from the monkey (doesn't that kid do anything else?) "That monkey could be handy," Chucky said. He rushed to the next room.

There, he saw Stewie and Brian. He gasped in shock when he saw Stewie. Stewie was almost just like him. Sure, he didn't have as much hair, but he was little, had overalls, a deep voice, and a strange desire to kill people. Chucky rushed in. "You!" he yelled.

Brian's eyes widened, and he gasped. Stewie smiled and cheered, "Woo-hoo! He's here! Come, little fellow! Let's plan to kill!" he yelled.

"That's what I'm talking about," Chucky grinned.

"Okay, first, we're going to kill that lousy bitch known as Lois. What we'll do is this. I will ride my tricycle into her legs from behind. She'll fall over. Then, I hold her down, and while I do, you throw a brick on her head. It's perfect!" announced Stewie. Then, Chucky and Stewie went around the house, gathering their supplies to prepare for their killing.


	5. Surprise!

Chapter 5: Surprise!

Later that day, Stewie and Chucky went through the house to search for Lois. Their plan was ready. Brian followed behind them, trying to talk them out of it.

"Come on, Stewie. Do you really want to kill Lois? I mean, you've been a nasty, lousy, spoiled brat, but she's been gentle and tries to put up with you anyway," he said.

"Shut up, dog. Nobody spoke to you," Chucky groaned.

"Hey! I'm not afraid of you! I ain't going to let some little doll tell me what to do!" shouted Brian. Chucky spun around with his brick, and held it up threateningly. Brian's eyes widened, and he ran off in fear.

"Smart move, Chuck," Stewie said.

"Yeah, I had to do it. The guy was a jackass, and he was dead weight anyway," Chucky said. The two of them walked quietly down the stairs. As arranged, Stewie's tricycle was in the middle of the living room. Lois was in the kitchen, and Stewie planned to ride around until Lois came in. Then he would run her over.

"Okay, let me get on my trikey, and you will hide behind the sofa with your brick. I'll run over Lois, and you know what to do after that," Stewie said, getting on his tricycle. Chucky ran off behind the sofa to wait for Lois.

Stewie rode on his tricycle all over the living room while waiting for Lois. Three hours passed, and she still hadn't come in. Stewie was getting impatient. He had to get her in somehow. "LOIS! GET IN HERE YOU FOUL WOMAN!" shouted Stewie.

"Coming, sweetie," Lois's gentle voice called from the kitchen. Stewie rode to the back corner of the room. He gave Chucky the thumbs up sign to let him know to get ready. Lois then entered the living room, and couldn't find Stewie. "Stewie, honey, where are you?" she called. Stewie rode quickly on his tricycle and ran over Lois. She fell on the ground. "AAGH!" she yelled as she fell over.

Stewie jumped off his tricycle and held down Lois. "I'm right here, Lois," Stewie snickered. "And I'd like for you to meet my new buddy, Chucky," he sneered. Chucky then showed his disgusting little face. He held his big, dirty brick in his hand.

"PETER! HELP!" Lois shouted. Stewie clamped Lois's nose and mouth shut. She wiggled around, trying to yell and breathe. Her face got paler and paler, and even started to turn blue.

"Now, little man!" Stewie instructed. "What are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for her to get really, really in pain," Chucky grinned.

"Ooh, you're good," smiled Stewie. After about ten more seconds of torture, Stewie initiated the first blow to Lois's head with the brick. Blood gushed out, and you could even see her skull. Chucky rammed the brick faster and harder into her head. More and more blood came out, and now most of the skull was damaged, and you could see Lois's brain. Now, Chucky was damaging her brain. He reached through the giant hole he'd created in her head and yanked her brain out. He smushed the crap out of it, really deforming it and tearing it apart.

"Uhh," Lois sighed, finally shutting her eyes. That was her last word. There was now a puddle of blood surrounding Lois.

"Great work, Chucky. Might I take a shot?" Stewie asked.

"Eh, why not?" he said. He handed Stewie the brick, and the Stewie continued to tear apart Lois from limb to limb. Then he went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Then, he flipped Lois over and stabbed her chest repeatedly. Then he rushed upstairs and got his gun. He shot Lois numerous times.

An hour had passed, and now Lois's body was really, really in horrid shape. "Not bad if I do say so myself," commented Chucky. "Let's bury this damn body before somebody sees." Stewie and Chucky then dragged the body through the kitchen, leaving a very noticeable trail of blood. Chucky stood by the door, and Stewie stood on top of him. He opened the door and then got off Chucky's head. The two boys went outside, making sure nobody saw. Then, they dumped the body in Quagmire's yard. "Now old Quag's gonna get the finger," said Stewie. "Good work, old bean!" They high-fived. "Now who's next?" he wondered.


	6. Quagmire

Chapter 6: Quagmire

Peter was outside talking to his best friends Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. Several hours earlier, he talked Lois out of going to the car lot, and she had agreed to keep Chucky (what a mistake that was!)

"So, I got my new Chucky doll today. You want to see it?" Peter said.

"Yeah, sure, Peter. I'll bet it's not even real. I'll bet you just drew it on a piece of paper and then cut it out," Joe said.

"You'll find it funny in a moment, Joe, when you see it is 100 authentic. It is much more real than all of yours combined," insulted Peter. Everyone had their Chucky dolls with them. They were each only 8" long, and they were poorly crafted. They were nowhere near as real as the Chucky that Peter owned.

Peter, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland entered the house. "Goodness! What's that stain of blood doing there?" Cleveland exclaimed, pointing at the puddle of blood near the kitchen door.

Peter and the other guys looked eerily at it. "Huh. Funny. That wasn't there when I left," Peter said.

"Uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever," the other guys said in disbelief. "You're trying to set us up for a scare."

"No, really. Maybe Kobe Bryant came in here and some by-stander shot him," Peter said.

(Cuts to scene in living room. Kobe Bryant comes inside, looking around. "Hello? Any hot guys in here?" he called. Just then, somebody passing by on the street shoots him. He falls on the floor, and then the person drags his body out of the house.) (Sorry if this offends anyone, but this is part of the story).

Peter turned to the sofa, and saw that the box where he left Chucky was empty. "Huh. Where'd he go? Lois! What did you do with Chucky?" Peter shouted. There was no answer. "Lois? Lois?"

"This is so fake," Quagmire said. "I'm going home. I know you're just setting me up." That dampened everyone else's spirit as well, so they left as well.

"No, guys, come back," whined Peter. But nobody heard him. "Ah man," he groaned.

Later that night, Peter, Chris, Meg, and Brian sat at the table in the kitchen to eat dinner. Normally, Lois cooked their meals. However, her mysterious absence forced Peter to order pizza. When the pizza man came with the pizza, Peter took the pizza and paid the delivery guy, who looked like a high-school dropout. He then set the pizza on the table, and everyone ate.

"Kids, have you seen your mother?" Peter asked. Chris and Meg shook their heads. "What about you, Brian?" he asked.

"Um, Peter… I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but…" Brian started, sounding a little bit embarrassed and nervous.

"Yes, boy, what is it?" Peter said.

"Well, ah, you know that Chucky doll that you bought?" he asked.

"Yes," Peter said.

"Well, sometimes weird things happen in life for no reason. You see, what happened with Chucky was…" Brian started, but was interrupted when the family heard Quagmire screaming outside.

"Come on, gang, let's see what Quagmire is screaming about," Peter said, getting up and exiting the kitchen through the back door. He then saw Quagmire in his front yard, looking at the disgusting, horribly damaged body of Lois.

"Peter! What's your dead wife doing in my lawn?" shouted Quagmire.

"Dead wife?" Peter said. "Uh-oh… Kids, it looks like we now know what happened to Mom." Chris and Meg looked like they were about to cry, and Brian seemed a bit sad, although he'd gotten over most of his sorrow since he had known about it already, and he had time to settle down.

"Mom!" shrieked Meg when she was Lois's body in Quagmire's lawn.

"Wait, I'll bet you killed her, Quagmire!" Peter accused, noticing that Quagmire had a hammer in his hand. (Quagmire was actually hammering in a picture inside, but Peter did not believe that.)

"What! Giggity giggity, no way!" he yelled.

"Oh yeah, then what are you doing with that hammer?"

"I was hanging up a picture when I happened to look out the window and see Lois's body in my yard, and I'm thinking, what the hell?"

"That's bullshit, Quagmire!" Peter yelled. "And I'm not going to let you hurt my wife again!" He punched Quagmire in the jaw. He then hit him hard in a sensitive place in his stomach.

"Peter, relax! I did nothing with your wife!" Quagmire said. However, Peter continued to beat the crap out of Quagmire.

"Get him, Dad!" shouted Chris.

"Yeah, Quagmire! Leave our mom alone!" Meg shouted.

Brian quietly scoffed. "Idiots," he muttered. "They don't have a clue."

Finally, Quagmire faked passing out so that Peter would leave him alone. "Come on, kids, let's go back in. I think Quagmire's taken care of. Then, we'll call the hospital to examine her wounds and then prepare for a funeral," Peter said with sorrow. Everyone sadly went back into the house to finish dinner. Nobody spoke another word to each other in the Griffin household for the rest of the night.

Meanwhile, Quagmire got up. Sure, he was bleeding and in great pain, but he had not passed out. He was able to hop over to his door to go back into his house. "Stupid Peter," he mumbled. "I'll get him for what I did!" Quagmire walked up the stairs to his bathtub. The room was immensely dark, but of course, this was not unusual, as Quagmire always loved it dark, because it was a nice, quiet, atmosphere. He felt around for the water knob, and then filled his bathtub with nice, steaming hot water. Once the tub was filled, Quagmire took off his clothes and got inside. He got the soap and began to wash.

After Quagmire had washed, he just sat in the tub to let the hot water infiltrate and soothe his tired, stressed skin. Just then, Quag thought he heard a noise in the cabinet. "Giggity, giggity, giggity!" Quagmire yelled in a threatening way. There was no response. Quagmire thought maybe he was just crazy, and just relaxed in the tub some more. But then, two pairs of little hands pushed Quagmire's face under the water. He splashed around, trying to get out, but he couldn't. The hands held him down too well. He used his legs to try to pull him out of the tub, but the hands had now grabbed his face so he couldn't move. Then, one of the pair of hands let go, and Quagmire could faintly hear footsteps running off. When he heard them come back, he heard something being thrown, but he was now almost unconscious and could barely comprehend anything. Then, the pair of hands let go of him. As he almost passed out, he felt the most horrible electrical sensation flowing through his body. It felt like millions of hot pins piercing through his body at once. Then, Quagmire's head clunked to the bottom of the tub.


	7. The Great Trap on Wheels

Chapter 7: The Great Trap on Wheels

The next morning at the Griffin residence, Peter was watching television. He was watching the news reported by Tom and Diane.

"Breaking news this morning," Diane said. "A 43-year-old man known only as Quagmire was found dead in his bathroom tub this morning. Investigators discovered that the tub was full of water, and there was a toaster oven in the water. To make matters worse, it was plugged in," Diane said.

"It seems that he also drowned," Tom said. "Investigators have not yet confirmed it, but they believe that the cause of death was suicide. Now, back to Diane with a news story on skin cancer," he continued.

"Quagmire's dead?" Peter said shocked. "What the hell is going on here? First Lois, and now Quagmire. He probably killed himself for me beating up on him." Peter clicked off the TV and went outside with the guys to discuss it.

Cleveland said, "I can't believe that Quagmire's actually dead. He doesn't seem like the type that would commit suicide. He always seemed so happy and alive."

Joe commented, "Yeah, it's sad. I'm sure gonna miss Quagmire. He sure as hell was annoying at times, but he always had spirit." Joe looked like he was almost about to cry.

"I wonder who could be doing these murders. I heard about your wife, Peter, and I'm sorry about that, too," Cleveland said.

"I accused Quagmire for killing her, but now that I think of it, the evidence doesn't quite hold up," Peter said. "There must be some bandit around here that's doing this." The men had nothing else to say, so they went back home.

When Peter got home, he saw Chucky sitting on the sofa. He looked like he'd been there all along. "Ah, there's Chucky!" Peter said, cheering up a bit. "I've been looking all over for that little rascal. But how did he get here? I could have sworn that he wasn't here last time I checked."

Then, Stewie came running in the room. "Hello, father," he greeted innocently.

"Hey, Stewie!" Peter said. "Where were you last night, anyway?"

"Uh… um… I was in my crib. Yeah, that's it. My _crib_," Stewie lied.

"Oh, okay," Peter said casually, not suspecting a thing. He grabbed Chucky and took him in the kitchen. Peter picked up the telephone and dialed to begin a conference call with Cleveland and Joe. "Hey, guys, I found my Chucky doll," Peter said.

"That's good, Peter," Cleveland said. "When can we see it?"

Peter set the Chucky doll on the table. "Right now, I guess," he said.

"Great! It'll be good to see whether or not your doll is lame like ours," Joe said. The men hung up, and then Peter turned around to grab the Chucky doll. His hands grabbed thin air. "W-what? Oh, where'd my doll go now?" grumbled Peter. "CHRIS! MEG! BRIAN! STEWIE!" he yelled. All the kids then rushed inside the kitchen. They looked at Peter, wondering what he wanted. "Have any of you seen my Chucky doll?" They shook their heads. "Oh, come on! He couldn't have just walked off on his own!" Peter yelled. "And… wait a minute! Where's Stewie? Something screwy's going on here…" Peter said in an ominous tone.

Meanwhile, Cleveland and Joe were walking over to Peter's house. Cleveland had already gone inside, but Joe was still trying to get his wheelchair over the little bump. "Psst. Over here," a voice whispered from the bushes.

"Who goes there?" Joe said. Stewie popped his head out of the bushes. "Oh, it's little Stewie. How cute," he said. But then, another face popped through the bushes. "Aagh! What the hell?"

"That's right, _Joe_!" Chucky said.

"Hey! H-how do you know my name?" Joe said.

"That doesn't matter, Joe. What does matter is that in 2 seconds, you're gonna be in deep doo-doo," Chucky said.

"What's that supposed to – meeeaaaannnn!" Joe yelled, as he suddenly was being pushed at a faster speed than he was used to. Chucky and Stewie kept running faster and faster, and the wheelchair got more and more wobbly and out of control. "L-let me off! Stop! Let me go!" Joe shouted. However, Stewie and Chucky paid no attention to Joe's pleads.

"Where exactly are we taking him?" Stewie asked.

"You'll see," Chucky grinned. After about half an hour, they got to the freeways. Cars were going faster than they did on the regular highways, and there was much more traffic as well. Joe screamed as Stewie and Chucky narrowly escaped the cars that zoomed by. As Joe was being pushed, Chucky looked at the edges of the freeway. He shook his head when looking at certain parts. Finally, he saw a part that seemed to please him, and he nodded. He tapped Stewie and pointed to the spot. "Over there."

"Ooh, lovely," Stewie said. Then, he and Chucky pushed Joe's wheelchair faster and faster and then let go. Joe's wheelchair hit a concrete median, and that sent Joe flying out of his wheelchair. He soared through the sky, and then he saw that he was about to land smack dab in the middle of the highway. Screaming, Joe tried to "flap" his arms to move his body from the road. However, that did no good whatsoever, and Joe's bones then crunched on the pavement. Groaning in pain, Joe couldn't move, and he stayed in place like a snail. Joe looked up and saw a big 18-wheel truck coming his way.


	8. Funerals

Chapter 8: Funerals

The next morning, Peter heard loud knocks on the door. He went to the door, and there he saw Joe with all of his body except for his head in a cast. "Just where the hell were you yesterday?" Peter demanded. "You were supposed to come over to see my Chucky doll." But then feeling sympathetic toward Joe after noticing his body cast, he said, "Ah, it's just as well anyway. I couldn't find that doll… _again_. Y'know, I think something's really weird going on here. I mean, Stewie's been gone a lot too, and normally at the same time as…" Peter started, but couldn't finish because he was interrupted by Joe.

"Listen you dirty bastard!" Joe yelled. "I am _extremely_ lucky to still be alive after what happened yesterday! Do you know what happened?" Peter shook his head. "_Your son_ and _your Chucky doll_ were hiding behind the bushes, and they pushed me to the freeway, and then rammed my wheelchair onto a median, and then I fell hundreds of feet down to the ground, and I almost got hit by a truck, but I crawled with my hands to the side before it could get me. It did run over my ankle, though, which hurt. A lot," Joe said.

Peter was speechless for a moment. Then he said, "Joe, you're crazy. You must be hallucinating. I mean, the seller _did_ say the doll was really alive, but I think he meant it in a metaphorical way, rather than a literal way. There is no way that doll really did all that crap to you."

Unable to think of a way to get Peter to believe him, Joe angrily went back home. Peter shut the door and went back inside. Just then, Brian walked up from the basement. "Hey, Peter. It's been a while since the two of us have had a talk."

"Yeah, Brian. Things are really falling apart. First, my wife and Quagmire get killed, Joe gets injured, and Stewie and that doll are always missing. I'm wondering what's going on," Peter said.

"Peter, I know damn well what's going on. You know that Chucky doll you bought? Well, he and Stewie are running around killing and hurting everybody. It started with your wife," Brian explained.

"You can't expect me to believe that bull crap!" Peter said. "Is everybody going crazy here? Am I the only sane man alive?" Peter ran up to his bedroom to settle down.

The next day, it was Lois's funeral. Peter and the kids were dressed in black. Meg usually wore a pink headcap, but on this occasion, she had a black one. Brian normally wore a red collar, but he had a black one just for this occasion. The family sat in the front row and cried quietly as the preacher read the eulogy. At the end of the funeral, when the eulogy was finished being read, everyone gathered around Lois's coffin and had one last look at her. She'd been polished well, and it seemed that Stewie and Chucky never once massacred her.

Later that day, the family attended the service at the graveyard, where Lois's coffin was placed in the ground. The family went home and didn't say another word for the rest of the day. Suppertime was quiet and sad without Lois. The family seemed to have trouble with the fact that she was no longer with them. A few days later, they went to the graveyard to look at her tombstone. It was a very nice gray stone that had her name engraved in it.

Lois Griffin

1960 – 2005

A week later, the family went to Quagmire's funeral. They dressed in black yet again, and also wept a little bit. Quagmire was dressed in the clothes that he was normally seen wearing. He had jeans with his red shirt and yellow flower-like symbols all over. Several days after the funeral, the family went to see Quagmire's tombstone, which was in the same graveyard as Lois's. Quagmire's tombstone was really unique.

Quagmire

1962 – 2005

"Giggity, Giggity, Giggity."

Not much happened in the household after the funerals of Lois and Quagmire. The family just went about their daily business. Peter went to work, the kids went to school, and Brian hung around the house either watching television or reading the _New York Times_. One night, there came a shriek from Joe's house. It sounded an awful lot like Joe. The family ran over to see what happened. Bonnie wept as she knelt over her dead husband. Joe had gone into the living room, when he suddenly got stabbed. The assassin had acted so quickly that it was impossible to tell who, but Brian was certain it had to be either Chucky or Stewie.

"Crime is such a problem in this neighborhood now. We're going to have to get together and put a stop to it. We're going to have to start a neighborhood watch," Cleveland said one day.

One night, Meg was in her room organizing her sock drawer, as she did every few nights for some odd reason. Everyone in the house was asleep except for her. Or at least that is what she thought…


	9. Brian's in this too?

Chapter 9: Brian's in this too?

As Meg was arranging the socks in her drawer, two small beings creaked open the door to Meg's room. They sneaked inside and hid under her bed. Meg thought she heard something and turned around. There was nothing there. Deciding she was just crazy, Meg went back to arranging her sock drawer.

The beings, which of course were Stewie and Chucky, watched Meg from underneath the bed. "There's the bitch," Chucky said. "I hate her. She's such a f-cking nerd!"

"Okay, Chucky, let me level with you," Stewie said. "I feel so great, having annihilated Lois, but are we going on some kind of killing spree or something, because I only initially planned on killing only Lois."

"Oh, yes, my friend," Chucky said, placing his arm on Stewie's small shoulders. "We kill _everyone_ in this family until they're gone. That's my business."

"Ooh, fun," grinned Stewie. "I say, let me get a pistol real quick. I want to make this good." Stewie ran from under the bed. He ran out back into the hall. Meg shot around, missing Stewie by just a second or so. Meanwhile, Stewie went to Peter's room. Stewie had explored his room many times during his games of Peek-A-Boo. He knew where Peter kept his guns. It was in the back of his closet behind his clothes. Lois used to have a problem with Peter possessing guns, so she forced him to get rid of them. However, Peter never did. He hid them behind his clothes to make it seem like he'd gotten rid of them.

Stewie went into the closet and checked behind Peter's clothes. There it was. It was what Stewie was looking for: the .357 Magnum. He got the gun and checked to see if it was loaded. To his luck, it was fully loaded! He ran back into the hall and scampered back under the bed. "Great, you got the gun!" Chucky said.

"Mind if I shoot her down?" Stewie asked.

"Hell, I don't care. She's _your_ sister, after all," Chucky said slyly. At that point, Meg finished arranging her sock drawer. She bent down to slide the drawer back in. "Now! Do it now!" Chucky ordered. Stewie shot Meg in the rear, and she screamed and fell over. The drawer, which had not been slid in all the way flew in the air, and all the socks flew out. Meg fell on the floor and smashed her glasses.

"Ah! My glasses!" she cried. But the worst was yet to come. The drawer started to fall downward, and it was headed for poor Meg. She looked up and screamed. The drawer smashed on her head and split it open right down the middle. She screamed in pain, and blood gushed out. Chucky and Stewie ran out. "Stewie…" Meg managed to say. "Why?"

"Cause you're a nerdy little bitch, and I hate you. You suck and are so damn dumb," Stewie said. Meg sobbed and sobbed.

"Oh shut up," Chucky said, pulling out his trusty knife. He stabbed Meg in the neck. More blood came out. Then, Stewie put the gun to her head. "Say bye-bye, Meggie," he smiled. Then, he fired the gun, and a huge bullet went through her head, causing yet more bloodshed. Then, Stewie fired the gun again in her mouth, and then, her head exploded. Eyes, bits of the brain, nose, ears, teeth, and blood were found all over the room. Meg's body was headless. You could see inside the neck, and in the neck you could see where the head had been cut off at the spine. There was practically nothing left of Meg.

Just then, Brian happened to walk in. "Oh mess! What happened here?" he gasped.

"We shot Meg," Stewie said, seeming satisfied with himself.

"Don't you guys think you've had enough killing for the past month or so?" Brian said.

"I like killing," Chucky said. "It's my favorite hobby."

"Well, as much as I hate to say it, I've never really had much of a liking for Cleveland for some strange reason. Why don't we go over to his house and give him a piece of our minds?" Brian said.

"That's the spirit!" exclaimed Stewie.

A few minutes later, Brian, Stewie, and Chucky came to Cleveland's house with guns, knifes, and whips. "Okay, Chucky. Hide in the bush until Stewie gives you the signal," Brian said. He nodded to Stewie to demonstrate.

Stewie unfastened his overalls and shook his booty. "I just love my Calvin Kleins!" he exclaimed in a weird tone.

"That's the signal, Chucky. Watch for it," Brian said. Chucky went off to hide in the bushes. Stewie was still shaking his booty. "Okay, Stewie, you can stop now…" Brian said, seeming disgusted with Stewie's erotic behavior.

"Oh, but I love my Calvin Kleins. They make me feel…" Stewie started. But before he could finish, Cleveland and his wife, Loretta, appeared at the door. Chucky pulled up his overalls and refastened them.

"Can I help you?" Cleveland asked.

"Yeah," Brian said. "We're taking a survey, and we must come inside for a brief moment, if that's okay." Cleveland nodded, and then Brian walked in. Stewie dropped his overalls and shook his booty again. He quickly put his overalls on again, and Chucky quietly followed Stewie inside.

"What survey are you conducting?" Cleveland asked.

"This survey!" shouted Chucky. Cleveland turned around to face Chucky and Stewie. Chucky pulled the trigger and shot Cleveland and Loretta. Then, Brian cracked a whip, slicing the two of them and leaving red stripes all over their bodies. "Ah!" they cried in pain. Then, Stewie ran up and stabbed them in various places. Then, Chucky went up to Cleveland and grabbed the whiskers on his mustache. He ripped them off, and that caused Cleveland to scream in pain. Blood oozed out from the pores where the whiskers had once been. Then, Brian punched Cleveland in the teeth and ripped them out. "Oh-augh!" shouted Cleveland. Chucky punched Cleveland in the nose, and his nose began to bleed. "Shut up!" Chucky yelled.

"Okay, boys, that's good for tonight. Let's get back home before Peter gets suspiscious," Brian said. Chucky pulled out his gun and shot Cleveland and Loretta one final time. After they left, Cleveland and Loretta slowly began to collapse as they shed blood and felt miserable.


	10. The War

Chapter 10: The War

The next morning, Peter entered the living room with Chris. Tumbleweeds bounced across the room, and the sound of a lonely wind was heard. "Goodness, it hasn't been this lonely in this house since the time I didn't bathe for a month," Peter said.

(Flashback: Three years ago; Kitchen. Peter walks into the kitchen without a shirt. "Hey, Lois, fix me breakfast. I'm hungry. Hello? Lois? Chris? Meg? Brian? Stewie?" Then, Stewie appears in the back door. "Take a bath, fat man!" he shouts. Then he shuts the door. End of flashback.)

"Wanna watch TV, Dad?" Peter asked.

"Huh. Why not?" Peter said. The two of them sat on the couch, and Peter turned on the television.

The news was on with Tom and Diane. "Will this endless chain of murders stop?" Diane said. "Last night, a couple was found dead in their house on Spooner Street, the same street where Quagmire was killed. We've also gotten word of several other mysterious deaths as well." The news flashed a picture of Cleveland and Loretta.

"Cleveland and Loretta! That's not possible! They've gotta still be alive!" Peter said, going to the phone. As he was, Chris felt a thick rope being slung over his neck. He then felt it being tightened. He looked back and gagged. There was Stewie, Chucky, and Brian. They tightened the rope, and Chris gagged more. In a minute, he was gone. "Shoot, there's no answer," Peter said, hanging up the phone. He turned around and saw that Chucky, Stewie, and Brian had killed Chris. Chucky was now cutting his throat open. "Hey! Chucky really is alive, and he really has been killing all these people!" Peter said.

"Duh," Chucky said. "I'm Chucky, and I kill everyone till they're dead."

"Not on my watch," Peter glared through his glasses. Chucky whistled, and the evil bedroom monkey that Chris had seen ran furiously down the stairs, and growled, showing his sharp, ferocious teeth. Peter gasped, "The monkey! Chris was right! There really was an evil monkey in his closet!"

"Now that I've got Stewie, Brian, and the monkey on my side, it's time for all of us to kill you," Chucky said. Then, they all pulled out long, sharp kitchen knives.

"Oh crap," Peter said. The guys ran toward Peter, but then acting quick, Peter ran to the TV and threw it in their path. That did no good, as they just ran around the TV. Peter ran to one side of the wall, but they continued to follow him. Peter ran into the kitchen and grabbed a mixer. He then waited for the right moment, and once everyone forced their knives toward Peter at once, he stuck the mixer in their path. Their knives jammed the mixer for a moment, and then the mixer shot them in the air, spinning round and round. "Ha ha!" Peter said, quickly taking one of the knives. "You killed my family, and now I'm gonna kill you! But you sure as hell won't kill me! I'm the last man alive, and you can't get me!"

But just as Peter said that, he felt someone jab a knife up his back. "Aaah!" he screamed in pain. Blood gushed down his back. Peter looked at the mixer, and realized that everyone had already escaped. Peter then fainted and passed away.

"Great knife work, Brian!" Stewie said. "Now let's get an iron and see what happens," he said. Brian went to the room where the family kept the iron. He then came down and plugged it in and ironed Peter's face. After a few irons, his face began to melt off his head, and the melted skin slid off in a big puddle on the kitchen floor. Everyone laughed hysterically. Then, everyone quit laughing and looked at Brian, who was still laughing. He quit laughing when he realized everyone was looking at him. He ran upstairs in fright when everyone got their knives and chased him.

Brian ran, trying to escape, and he figured that he could jump out the window at the end of the hall. When he got there, he was shocked when he learned that the window was locked and boarded up. Chucky, Stewie, and the monkey ganged up on him. The next thing Brian knew, nails had been pierced through his paws. He was hanging up on the wall. Blood dripped from his paws. "Oww," he cried in pain. Then, Chucky and Stewie threw knives at him, which doubled his pain and caused more blood to ooze out. The monkey fired a pistol at him, which eventually decapitated Brian. Then, Chucky and Stewie took the knives they threw and ripped his body open with them. They slashed apart body parts they saw inside and gave it all they got. Once Brian was fully beaten to death, the gang went downstairs for a meeting.


	11. Stewie Versus Chucky

Chapter 11: Stewie Versus Chucky

After fully beating up Brian, the murderous gang decided to go downstairs and have a meeting and decide what to do next. Chucky, Stewie, and the monkey got on the couch and let go of their weapons for a moment.

"Okay, we've killed everyone in the house," Stewie said. "Now what?" he sighed.

Chucky slowly craned his head in Stewie's direction. He had a wicked grin and a menacing sparkle in his eye. Stewie, who had befriended Chucky because of their similar size, personality, and interests, now started to fear Chucky. Chucky gave Stewie a look that he had never seen from Chucky before. "Oh, no, my friend. We have not killed _everyone_ in this house. Ah, ah. Not yet," he said quietly.

Stewie's eyes widened a little bit. "W-what are you talking about? We've killed Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Brian, and we even killed Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland and Loretta. W-who's left?" he stuttered.

Stewie's worst nightmare came true when Chucky slowly pointed toward Stewie. "You," he said.

"B-but I thought we were friends. We're both villains. We both like to kill and torture," Stewie said, almost close to panicking.

"At first… but once we've killed all the good people, I turn on the bad people as well. Once I am in a house, I kill _everyone_, and I mean _everyone_ that lives there… both good and bad," Chucky said. "And you are next," Chucky said.

"You're never going to take ME alive! NEVER!" shouted Stewie, pointing at Chucky.

"Oh yeah?" Chucky challenged. "Well we'll just see about that," he said, jumping off the couch and grabbing his voodoo knife. Stewie jumped down and grabbed his gun. Chucky charged toward Stewie with his knife. However, Stewie was much faster than Chucky, and fired the pistol through his heart. "Ah!" Chucky groaned in pain.

"Don't like pain, do you little man? Time to give you a dose of your own medicine!" Stewie taunted. He fired the hell out of Chucky until he was sobbing hysterically in pain. "Now time to finish you off!" Stewie said, reaching for Chucky's knife. However, Chucky jerked his knife back.

"You're not getting this," Chucky said. However, Stewie fired Chucky's hand a billion and ten times. "AAAAIIIIEEEEE!" he shrieked in pain as the bullets hit. His hand weaken and he dropped the knife. Stewie grabbed it, and then he stabbed Chucky right through the heart, and then through the head, and then through the neck. Then he cut off his legs and arms.

"Victory is mine!" announced Stewie.

"Not quite," Chucky said. Stewie was a bit surprised that Chucky could still speak, even after chopping him up. "Monkey, finish off my good friend Stewie," he said. The monkey gritted his teeth and leaped off the sofa, where he'd been watching the boys fight. He pounded on Stewie and tore him up with his big, sharp teeth. Stewie quickly blasted the gun, and then the monkey died. "NO!" shouted Chucky.

Stewie stood up. "Yes! It's time for you to go! I'm the only evil baby in this world, and nothing's going to stop that!" He fired more gunshots through his head, and ran off to the kitchen to get a fork and a knife. He then ran back into the living room, only to find that Chucky was gone. "W-where the devil is he?" said Stewie. He looked around, still armed with his gun, fork, and knife. He looked high and low, but Chucky was nowhere to be found. Just as Stewie was about to head upstairs, he heard someone rev up a chainsaw and run up to him.

Stewie felt his body being torn apart, and he heard the evil laughing of Chucky. Soon, he lost vision and passed away. Stewie laid in a big heap on the floor by the stairs. Chucky, with his big chainsaw (it was actually Peter's), smiled. "Victory is mine. I have accomplished my goal. This family is eliminated. One down. Over a billion to go before I have accomplished world domination!" he shouted. "But where should I go next?"


	12. D'oh!

Chapter 12: D'oh!

Months later, in a city known only as Springfield, an average American family was preparing to watch a popular Fox program known as _Family Guy_. Just then, the announcer spoke up. "Attention viewers. We regret to inform you that _Family Guy_ has been taken off the air permanently. This is because we have not filmed any new episodes, as the entire cast has mysteriously been killed. The killer is unknown to this date, but he is believed to be armed and dangerous. Now, stay tuned for _Barney and Friends_," the announcer said.

"D'oh!" shouted a large, tubby, fat, and bald man known as Homer Simpson. "I hate Barney. He's such a queer."

"Yeah, I know," a ten-year-old kid known as Bart said. "Somebody ought to shoot him."

"Bart," Marge said in her motherly voice, "that's not nice to say."

"Eat my shorts, Barney!" shouted Bart.

"Why you little!" Homer yelled, and then strangled Bart. Bart began choking and his eyes bulged out.

Marge, Lisa, and Maggie watched the two acting stupid, as usual. Just then, the doorbell rang. Homer was too busy strangling Bart, so he was unable to answer it. Marge went to answer it. "Hello," she said. However, nobody was at the door. There was just a package. Marge took it inside and opened it. There was something inside wrapped in paper wrapping. Marge opened it up and saw the unusual object. There was even a note resting on the object:

Looking for THE REAL DEAL? Well then buy this Chucky doll. He is THE REAL THING! Many other sellers claim to sell the real thing, but this is no scam. This really is THE REAL THING! It was the doll filmed in the movies. He WILL come alive if you piss it off, and it WILL kill you. This is NOT a joke. Scare your friends or family. Perfect for Halloween. PayPal is accepted. Sorry, no checks.

The end


End file.
